Music Jokes.

Q.
What do you call a group of alligators that get together
to sing parody songs?

A. Pun-croc-ers!

Q.
Who is the most famous German jazz musician?

A. Jazz Hans.

Q.
What happened to the classical musican couple who were always
bickering?

A. They baroque up.

Seven
piano keys walk into a bar. Bartender say, "Sorry,
we can't serve liquor to A minor."

Q.
What is the favorite music genre of most stepdads?

A. Alternative Pop.

Q.
Which music genre do wind turbines enjoy most?

A. They're heavy metal fans.

Q.
What does a musician call extra notes added to the end of
a song to make it last longer?

A. Extension chords.

Garage
Band Fact of the Day: My neighbors listen to really good
music, whether they like it, or not.

Q.
How do dogs listen to music out on long walks?

A. They use an iPaw-ed.

Q.
Is it okay to tell funny jokes about the Rolling Stones?

A. Yes. In fact, it's a gas.

Q.
Which musical instrument do pumpkins play at Octoberfest?

A. The a-gourd-ian.

High
Pitch Musician Pick-Up Line:
Hey baby, Treble is my middle name.

Q.
Which type of music do pirates listen to?

A. Anything they want, 'cause they're not paying for it
anyway.

Q.
Why should you never hit somebody in the head with a string
instrument?

A. 'Cause violins
is never the answer!

Q.
When lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely
to be hit?

A. The Conductor!

Q.
What happened when the guy listened to classical music way
too loud?

A. His speakers baroque.

Q.
Which historical era had the poorest musicians?

A. The Baroque period.

Q.
Which kind of disc-spinning emcee Only accepts twlight time
gigs?

A. A dusk jockey.

Q.
Why was the musician banned from the jazz club?

A. 'Cause he's a registered sax offender.

Q.
What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee Gees?

A. Stayin' Alive!

Q.
What do rock zombies call the guy who gets the group out
of PR scrapes?

A. A Band-Aide.

Q.
What do musicians call a zombie who writes music?

A. A decomposer.

Q.
Which music genre does kettle corn listen to?

A. Pop.

Noteworthy
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, did you know that musicians duet
better?

Q.
What happened when the musician died while smoking weed
rolled in a dollar bill?

A. He went out on a high note.

Q.
What is planet Earth's fave music genre?

A. Metalcore.

Q.
What happened when a jazz band's bus broke down on the busy
highway during rush hour?

A. There was a massive jam up.

Q.
Which rock band has members with obsessive-compulsive disorder?

A. OC/DC.

Q.
What do musicians call pleasurable audio?

A. An ear-gasm.

Q.
Do old music mixers ever die?

A. No, they just fade away.

Brass
Musician Tip of the Day: If you suck at trumpet, that's
probably why!

Q.
What do you call the musician who plays both the tenor and
alto saxophones?

A. Bi-saxual.

Q.
Why do rock drummers always swear so much?

A. Because they play per-cuss-ion instruments.

Musician
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby,
you are lookin' F-ing sharp tonight.

Q.
What is Donald Trump's least favorite classic rock band?

A. Foreigner.

Q.
Which musical manuscripts should baseball players study?

A. Bach's scores.

Q.
Which musical note sounds like an order to get with it?

A. B Sharp.

Q.
What happened to the musician who played through the silent
part of the song?

A. He was charged with resisting a rest!

Q.
What happened after the musician messed up in the middle
of a number?

A. He had a tempo tantrum.

Q.
Why was music coming out of the laser printer?

A. 'Cause the paper was jamming.

Q.
What do musicians call popular tunes about physical activities
on the charts?

A. The Top Sporty Hits.

Q.
What did Colby sing to Brie at the cheesy new karaoke bar?

A. Lookin' Sharp!

Q.
What is the chance to samply a fishy broth at a high brow
music event called?

A. An opera-tuna-ty.

Q.
What happened after the chef opened the refrigerator door
because he heard green onions singing a Bee Gees song?

A. He realized it was just chives talking.

Q.
Which classical dessert comes out of a musical volcano?

A. Bach lava.

Studio
Singer Hookup Line: Hey
baby, let's make music on my sheets.

Q.
What goes on when a church musician and a surgeon hang out?

A. They just chill and talk about organs.

Q.
What do you get if you cross a Scottish fisherman and a
British jazz musician?

A. An angler-saxin'.

Q.
Why can't skeleton musicians play at church?

A. 'Cause they have no organs.

Q.
Which musical note sounds like a heads up?

A. C Sharp.

Q.
What did the blonde say when headphones went on sale?

A. It's music to my ears.

Q.
Why did the musician hate the key of E minor?

A. Because it gave him the E B G Bs!

Noteworthy
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl,
Every Good Boy Deserves
more than Favor!

Q. How did the church musician die?

A. Organ failure.

Instrumental
Tip of the Day: Too much sax
and violins can only lead to treble.

Q.
Why did the musical note drop out of college?

A. 'Cause it couldn't pick a major.

Musician
Chat Up Line: So babe,
are you a scale? 'Cause I'd love to go up and down on you
all night long.

Orchestra
Musician Chat Up Line:
Hey baby, I C Major potential in you.

Did
you hear about the choir singer with augmented breasts?
She had a great falsetto!

Q.
What do you call a musician with erectile dysfunction?

A. B Flat.

Q.
What do you call a musican who betrays fellow musicians?

A. An orchestraitor.

Musician
Pick-Up Line: Bae, wanna
know why my buds call me Legato? 'Cause I'm so smooth.

Q.
What kind of music do pirates listen to aboard a dingy?

A. Rock n Row.

Musician
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby,
you are a major part of my life, and without you,
I'd be flat.

Q.
What happened to the guy who was busted for smuggling reed
instruments?

A. He was charged with sax trafficking.

Q.
Why did the musician's gig at the graveyard go so badly?

A. Because the crowd was pretty dead.

Deep
Thought of Note: Do you still make poignant music after
you're dead by de-composing?

Q.
Why did the guitarist drop out of music lessons?

A. 'Cause he couldn't pick A Major.

Keyed
Up Come-On: Hey baby, are
you a musician? 'Cause we could get into some serious treble
together tonight.

Q.
What happened to the dancing pirate who went to the seafood-themed
disco?

A. He pulled a mussel.

Musician's
Hall of Fame Mention of the Day: Stevie Wonder wasn't just
a great musician, he was otta sight!

Q.
Which classic rock band is the favorite of Jehovah's Witness?

A. The Doors!

Q.
How can you tell a guitarist is worried?

A. He frets a lot.

Q.
What do you call a guitar that wants to become a violin?

A. Trans-Fender.

Q.
Which musician in the rock band does the weirdest stuff
on stage?

A. The bizarre-est guitarist.

Q.
How do critics rank dramatic musical works?

A. Standard opera-rating procedure.

Q.
If everybody around you is wild about big band music, where
do you live?

A. In a swing state.

Pick-Up
a Musician Line: Hey honey, how about you give me a piano
lesson? We could play all night long and make sweet music
together.

Classical
Music Groan of the Day: Last night the school orchestra
played Brahms. Brahms lost. OUCH!

Q.
If Albert Einstein was a rapper, what would he call himself?

A. E MC Square.

Q.
What does the music term E-sharp mean?

A. Tech savvy.

Q.
What is it called when a rapper clearly puts it all out
for his psychiatrist?

A. Shrink Rap!

Q.
How did the musician's latest stage performance go?

A. A chording to plan!

Q.
Why did the guy turn up the music before going into the
bathroom?

A. So you can't hear shit.

Sharp
Pick-Up Line of Note: Hey
babe, I'm like a musician at a party. I always make a big
entrance and never cum early.

Q.
What is the favorite tune of the wannabe fast order cook?

A. I Believe I Can Fry.

Q.
Why isn't R&B music popular in North Korea?

A. Because they have no Seoul.

Toney
Point to Ponder: Does music make you think, considering
it did make Stevie Wonder?

Q.
What do you call a tailor who composes music when he's not
sewing?

A. A Singer song writer.

Q.
Why did the pony win the county fair's battle of the bands?

A. 'Cause he was a rocking horse!

Q.
What is the name of the new Emo Salsa band?

A. Hispanic at the Disco.

Pick
Up a Musician Line: Hey dude, do you play trumpet? 'Cause
you're making me horny.

Tone-Deaf
Musician Chat Up Line:
Hey there, I really want to B with you, if that's
not too much treble.